As a young child I suffered from serious problems, both physical and spiritual. At age four I was diagnosed with a chronic disease. Equally significant, from earliest memory I felt a deep sense of emptiness. It was relentless, characterized by loneliness, despair, darkness and fear.
Relative to the difficulty of navigating life with obstacles that were both physical and spiritual, I spent a large amount of time seeking guidance and support. Unfortunately, many of the answers I found could be classified as New Age and/or occultic.
In ignorance, I eventually made a conscious choice to surrender to the darkness. I was 12 years old. Within a short time I began to abuse drugs and alcohol in aggressive fashion.
By age 20 I had already experienced most of what the world had to offer. I learned that accomplishment in higher education, business ownership, social involvement and athletic endeavor could not satisfy the emptiness and longing of my soul.
As a child I had been taught that Jesus Christ is God. In desperation I began to search for Him. For the next four years I attended church services, read Christian books and spoke to a significant number of people in church leadership. I also attempted to receive Christ at “altar calls” on four different occasions in three different churches. However, nothing changed. The deep sense of emptiness and meaninglessness in life remained. It continued to be accompanied by the unmistakable presence of evil.
At age 24 I met a man who claimed to know Jesus personally. He asked me if I would like to be introduced to Him. The man explained that it would require the surrender of my life to Christ. I quickly responded in the affirmative and explained that I had been actively trying to find Jesus for the last four years. The prayerful battle that ensued was intense.
Afterwards my heart was no longer empty. It was clear that I had received the fullness of new life deep within. No longer alone, I was joined as one with the indwelling Spirit of Jesus Christ. Consequently, I experienced a sense of unconditional love and peace like never before. In addition, the darkness was replaced with light. Newly enlightened, I could both literally and figuratively see more clearly. Even colors appeared more vibrant.
My introduction to Christ was more than 37 years ago. Since then I have been privileged to learn that the forgiveness of God is without limit, His indwelling life is infinite and His love is boundless. Therefore, I can state unequivocally that I am unconditionally forgiven of all sin, I share His infinite, eternal life and I am loved without limit.
As a result, I know what it means to walk with God as a beloved child rather than to work for Him as a religious hireling. "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God" (John 1:12-13).
I was blessed to receive a B.S. in Business Administration from Southern Oregon University in 1986 and a Master of Divinity from Multnomah University in 1991. My wife Kathleen and I have been married for 37 years. We enjoy living in Bend, Oregon.
Living on the edge of eternity,
Questions or comments?