From early childhood I remember the deep emptiness of my soul. It was palatable, characterized by loneliness, despair, darkness and fear. Meaning in life was often obscured by the emptiness. Therefore, I spent many hours as a child looking for answers in books. Many of them could be classified as New Age and occultic.
Ignorant and curious, I surrendered to the darkness at age 12. It wasn’t long until I began to abuse drugs and alcohol in aggressive fashion.
Despite my youthfulness, I experienced most of what the world had to offer by age 20. I discovered that accomplishment in higher education, business ownership, social involvement and athletic endeavor could not assuage the pain of inner emptiness.
When I was a child I had been taught that Jesus Christ is God. As I grew older I didn’t forget.
In desperation, I began to search for the Jesus I had heard about in my childhood. For the next four years I attended church services, read Christian books and spoke to a significant number of people in church leadership. I attempted to receive Christ at “altar calls” on four different occasions in three different churches. For all intents and purposes I believed I was a Christian. Nevertheless, the pain of emptiness and the meaninglessness of life continued unabated.
At age 24 I learned more about Jesus. I discovered that He is alive and wants mankind to know Him personally and intimately. Moreover, I learned that my need wasn’t merely to be rescued from the pain of an empty heart, but to fill my empty heart with Him.
In due time I was led to a church pastor who knew Jesus personally. He asked me if I would like to surrender the control of my life to Him. I quickly responded in the affirmative and explained that I had been trying to meet Jesus for the previous four years. The prayerful battle that ensued was intense but brief. Afterwards it was very clear that my heart was no longer empty. It was filled with a sense of unconditional love and peace like I had never before experienced. Moreover, darkness became light and fear was overcome by faith.
Receiving Christ was the beginning of my journey of learning to walk with Jesus.
For the last 37 years I have been privileged to learn that He is not only my Lord, but my love, light and life.
I have been privileged to grow in the knowledge of His goodness and grace. In addition, I have learned what it means to serve and write with God rather than for Him.
I was blessed to receive a B.S. in Business Administration from Southern Oregon University in 1986 and a Master of Divinity from Multnomah University in 1991. My wife Kathleen and I enjoy living in Bend, Oregon.
Although I have suffered from serious health problems for the last twenty years, God has also allowed me to push the limits of athletic endeavor. I have discovered the opportunity for great fellowship with Him while both mountain biking and skiing. Each navigation of a technical mountain trail and each high speed run down a majestic mountain peak has been an amazing, joyous privilege fulfilled only by His enabling presence.
Living on the edge of eternity,
Questions or comments?